Think Good Thoughts.

My favorite lyrics in this song are: 

So I'll quiet down the devil

I'm gonna knock him in the head with a shovel

And I'll bury all my trouble underneath the rubble

AND

I'm not saying that it's easy

Especially when I'm moody

I might be cursing like a sailor

Til I remind myself I'm better

Cause words can be like weapons

Oh when you use them you will get them

Oh oh but I'm not gonna let them take away my heaven

        This song is my Anthem. I know what you're thinking. It wont be my forever anthem.  It's just something that will uplift and keep me going for today.   A song that when I feel like absolute crap or when I  have allowed someone's words or thoughts to tear me down; it will bring me back to life again.   Getting through today so I can make it tomorrow is my priority. 

At its best, this song describes what its been like to live in my world/head for the last 2 years.  Before we moved to Ohio, I was an exceptionally strong individual.  However, I noticed that I was falling on my face more and getting back up slower and slower.  Ohio knocked me on my ass; so much so I wasn't getting back up often.  Ohio kicked me in the head repeatedly.  Ohio made me lose my spirit and my drive.  My hope was lost.  Ohio, the place I once ran away from because it was killing who I wanted to be, I ran back to.  I thought I was doing the right thing and in the end it was very wrong.  God allowed us to make the decision.  Its not really that it was the wrong decision, it just wasn't the best decision.   Now I'm in the middle of rebuilding myself.  Strengthening myself back up to take on life/kids/marriage.  My kids are in school.   Surviving. Enjoying. Kinder. Gentler. Happier.   I've had time just in the last few days to re-evaluate where I am and re-train my brain to think differently.  I've been following RealTalkKim on Twitter.  She just has a natural authentic mature way of looking at the tough stuff, the things that get to you every day.  She uses basic concepts, things we already know to encourage us.  None of it is brain surgery.  She reminds us of what we already know but refuse to hear or pay attention to.  

Today, I was running up the stairs on Communication Hill today and I was screaming my workout playlist inside my own head; because lets be honest, NO ONE wants to hear me sing; and this quote popped into my head.  Its my own. I'm kind of proud of it.  "The moment you stop letting others negative thoughts, words and attitudes about you, affect the way you see yourself, that is the moment you are truly free".  For the longest time I've allowed the fear of what people think of me or what they say to affect the way I think of myself.  The people who truly know me, truly know my heart, are the ones that matter the most.  And ultimately the only one that really matters is God.  He is the only one I have to be accountable to at the end of the day.   So, every day, when someone says can't, or shouldn't, or won't, or something mean,  I will say to myself .....

THINK GOOD THOUGHTS