Sometimes I wonder why God gave me children that are such a handful. All my life all I ever wanted, and I knew this from a VERY young age, was to be a mom. And to be a good mom. From the moment I found out I was pregnant with Caitlin. I made sure I tried my very best to take care of the little person that was growing inside me. The day I gave birth to her was the happiest day ever. I had my second child and I thought life couldn't get any better. As Caitlin was growing from a baby into a toddler I had the best times with her. I LOVED being a mom. We were always enjoying each other doing fun activities. I thought I had it good. She slept through the night at a VERY early age, she went to bed at night without any problems, she napped well, ate well, she hit every milestone early. Everyone was kinda envious of what a good baby I had. Every time I went to the pediatrician for her visits, I'm sure I sounded like life with Caitlin was to good to be true. Then the other shoe dropped. At 18 months old my wonderful, happy, fun-loving baby went haywire. She started throwing enormous tantrums (not just your typical toddler tantrums) but ones where she would smack her head into walls, bite her hands till they bled. I was traumatized. I couldn't figure out what happened to my daughter. She no longer seemed happy and everything I did to help or get her through it only compounded the problems. During this time we found out that we were pregnant with out second child after 13 months of trying. We were thrilled. Caitlin was going to have a baby brother. I had some problems with progesterone again, just like I did with Caitlin. But I felt prepared. This pregnancy went much smoother than Caitlin's. I wasn't puking everyday for 9 months. *sigh of relief* I could actually enjoy pregnancy except for one thing. Caitlin was still out of whack. What's wrong with my kid? Finally one day, we were at a friends house. Caitlin was lashing out hurtfully at her son, she was screaming her head off and biting her hands. Her hands were bleeding. I had had enough. I lost it. I just started bawling. I called the pediatrician right away to get in and called Tom. I didn't know what to do anymore. Tom basically said "ok whatever you think is best". Today he doesn't even really remember any of this. But I sure do. Sometimes I even have nightmares about it. Anyway, all I kept thinking was, what am I doing wrong. It has to be me. After talking with my mom she insisted it was some kind of milk allergy. So after I got an appointment with the Doctor, I started researching online about milk allergies and what other moms had said. Yup, sure enough I had found many moms reporting similar problems with their kids. So I stored the information for later use with the pediatrician and made the best of the two weeks prior to her appointment. Finally our day to see the pediatrician had come and I gave Caitlin (without thinking) a huge glass of milk for breakfast. We got to our appointment, and inside the exam room, Caitlin was out of control. The doctor asked if this was typical, which I responded, "oh no, this is actually better than most days." She couldn't believe it. I told her about what I had read on the internet and she said, well yeah lets try to cut out milk products and see how well she does. She was very supportive. So the next several months we went on a milk free diet. It seemed to help a bit. She was still having tantrums, but biting her hands had stopped. She was still a bit aggressive, but it seemed like it was getting better.
Well after several months of working the milk allergy out, Tom and I decided it might be time for pre-school. We were still tossing around the idea of homeschooling but really we hadn't made a decision yet. We still wanted to investigate more and see what our options were. I thought it would be fun, but I wanted to respect Tom's hesitation. Of course that didn't stop me from prodding every now and then and keep asking, "so whatcha think!?!?" So we checked out a local christian school and decided to enroll her. We thought it might be good for her and well lets be honest, good for me while I was pregnant. It gave me a chance to recoup and focus on getting ready for baby #2. But, oh no. It wasn't that easy. Day after day, I would come to pick her up, and day after day there was always something. And that something came in the big fat form of negative. The teacher told me she had no empathy. Empathy? WTF? She's 20 months old. Is that even a skill at 20 months old? She wasn't even 2 years old yet. So we just tried to work on it and figure out how to help her succeed at school. Till one day, I came to pick her up. Caitlin was sitting in time out. Now everyday, I would come pick her up at 12:00. Lunch was served at 11:30 and I wanted her to be able to eat with the other kids. This particular day, Caitlin was sitting in time out. The teacher explained that she had shoved another child and they put her in timeout without lunch. I really thought I had heard her wrong. I felt like I was in one of those dream states where someone tells you something so unbelievable and then you wake up, and your like oh ok its just a dream. I asked her to repeat what she had said (thought there was a miscommunication, she had a thick asian accent). But sure enough again she repeated that she had put Caitlin in time out without lunch. I quickly got her lunch pack and looked and there it was, her entire lunch still intact. I was furious. I could not believe that this teacher had denied my child food after a long day of school. Shouldn't that be illegal? My first thought. So, I took Caitlin went home and called Tom. We made an appointment to see the school director the next day. Long story short, it is illegal, and she was not a happy camper. Not sure if the incident had anything to do with it, but she was moved out of that classroom fairly quickly. Caitlin was in a new classroom. A much better room. I was so excited. Her teacher was amazing. Instead of approaching Caitlin's difficulties with negativity, she gave a brief report of what they worked on. Finally, a teacher that understood young children. Ok I could handle this. I was overjoyed at the fact that Caitlin was in a great classroom. The teacher was always cheerful and Caitlin really seemed to enjoy Ms. Sara. She was a joy! Then Caitlin was potty trained. My heart sank. She had to move up to the next room. The dreaded potty trained room. No more Ms. Sara. But I was hopeful. I tried not to think to negatively of the changed and actually really enjoyed the new teacher Ms. Tanya. She was delightful in every way, and seemed to really get along with Caitlin. I didn't notice any problems. Christian had finally arrived and everything seemed to be falling into place for Caitlin.
After Christian arrived from an uneventful really, VBAC! WOOYA! We brought our bouncing baby boy home. During our hospital stay I noticed that he had made a vomiting noise and some fluid came up. Now at a day old there really isn't to much other than colostrum that he is taking in during nursing. I called the nurse in, and she assured me that I had just pushed him out to fast. That he was still trying to get some of the amniotic fluid out. That if he did it again they would tube him and give him hand. He did it two more times. Tubing him seemed to help. So we were off to take our newest beautiful addition home. The next two months would prove to be challenging to say the least. We brought him home and as soon as he started taking in more breast milk, he would projectile vomit everywhere for every feeding. Sometimes it would be two hours later. He was losing weight everyday. He had gone from 7lbs 3ounces at 37 weeks, we delivered early because my amniotic fluid was low, to 6lbs 3 ounces and not gaining at all. He was 2 weeks old and still holding at 6lbs 3 ounces. We were freaking out. So we rushed him in to see the ped on call, not our own ped. And he was more concerned about the fact that he was jaundiced. He looked like he had sat in a copper mine drinking copper for days. He was so golden. The pictures still make me want to weep uncontrollably. So he sent him over for a bili count, which is devastating to begin with seeing them jab your tiny lil babies foot with a needle to get blood. It was horribly high. I believe it was at 18. Anything above 15 you would get admitted to the hospital. SO! they immediately ordered us a bili light. SO MUCH FUN! He was puking every time we put him down. So we had to hold him upright all night long while we had him wrapped in a bili light. Every time we laid him down he screamed uncontrollably. We were not getting any sleep. So we took him back, still worried he's not gaining weight. The ped, still not our own ped, told us to hold him upright more, don't jostle him, and oh keep his head covered, he loses heat and if he is losing heat his body has to work harder at keeping him warm and it expends a lot of calories. WTF? Ok whatever, I still wasn't convinced, I was sure he had reflux. So we did as we were told and he still wasn't gaining weight. He is now 6 weeks old and still weights 6lbs 3ounces. Every time I take him in for a weight check I'm getting more and more upset. Finally we see his regular pediatrician and we tell her what's been going on. She prescribes him some baby Zantac. IT WORKS! He stops throwing up and starts to gain weight! Finally, its been solved, or so we think. The rest of the story comes back later.
So all the while we are dealing with Christian's vomiting problems, one of the teachers in Caitlin's classroom goes on Maternity leave. I was ok with it, I was going to miss her, but we could handle it. Caitlin had had a very successful 5 months in this classroom. She was very sweet and really good with Caitlin. But I thought we had solved all of our problems. Then, what I call, the blond bombshell, was hired. Dear God. Who thought it was appropriate to hire this girl? One word, Uptight. She definitely should not have been working with preschoolers. Everyday, she approached every situation negatively. One day I was waiting for Caitlin to finish eating her lunch, she never could sit down for very long, she was walking around eating. She walked over to this little girl and tapped her on the shoulders. She said, "hey guess what?" Immediately the kid started screaming, "SHE HIT ME SHE HIT ME!!!" I thought the third WW had started. Immediately this teacher storms over to Caitlin and tells her to go to time out. I had to step in. I said, "nope she wont be going to time out. She did no such thing. She tapped her on the shoulder to tell her something, and the little girl overreacted." I was in no way going to let her punish Caitlin for something she didn't do. Normally I dont interfere. I let the teachers continue with discipline or whatever until we walk out of the room. But I couldn't do it this time. I had to do something right? So we continued on for the next few months in preschool. I was really feeling awful about her placement and contemplating taking her out. But that would mean I would have to have a discussion with Tom. And I was to tired to have a discussion. So I decided to wait a little longer. Around a month later, I went in to pick up Caitlin and the blonde bombshell immediately races over to me to inform me that my daughter had run away today and they could not find her. I asked, "ran away where?" She tells me that Caitlin had run out of the classroom and hid in the entry way to the back of the sanctuary (remember this is a church). I immediately came back with, "how did she get out of the classroom?" Now this classroom had a main door. And after the main door there is a parent pick-up area that is enclosed. It has a counter on one side, two walls and a door on the other and a half door with a child lock on the side entering the classroom. Let me add this up for you. There are two doors, one with a child lock and one that is to heavy for a preschooler to open. How in the world did she get out? I posed the question to the blonde bombshell and she stammered about how they were open. I cut her off, I didn't really need to hear her anymore. I flat out told her, "I guess thats your fault then huh? She's two, you have to foresee those little issues before they happen." That was the day I decided she was not going back. We finished out our month and we were done. I've been homeschooling ever since.
Now, you might be wondering if its gotten any easier? Ahh, I would say no. Tom and I changed the way we were parenting and how we disciplined. Some days were easier, others just sucked. We were more consistent in discipline than any parent I had ever seen. And no its not better. I could not figure out what "I" was doing wrong. Every person had their input or their opinion. I seriously did NOT want to hear other peoples opinions. I could care less. Besides I had read every book known to man about parenting, discipline, milk sensitiviites etc etc etc. And I was still banging my head into a wall. The only thing left was, what was "I" doing wrong. In the Fall of 2005 we started homeschooling officially. YEEHAW! We joined a homeschool support group, a homeschool sports league, swimming classes, ice skating classes, Awanas, VBS, Sunday school. All kinds of stuff. We were busy. But we were constantly still getting bad reports. Now, some of you out there would say, "Well is she getting enough socialization?" And I would point you back to the list of activities and say, "Good try, don't blame homeschooling." And that rant is for a whole other blog entry with possible swear words.
Now during the second year of homeschooling, kindergarden, we seem to be going along smoothly, until one day, our youngest, decides to start vomiting for no reason again. Initially we think, eeegads, he has a stomach virus. So we go through the motions of getting over the stomach flu. He seems to get over it pretty quickly, like 2 hours after he starts throwing up. So we think, GREAT, he's better. Then Friday morning, Christian goes to sit on the potty and proceeds to sit there for an hour and a half, trying desperately to poop. I'm getting a lil concerned as he is showing some signs of a bowel obstruction. I wont give you those tell tale signs as they are kinda TMI but trust me. I call my mom and tell her what's going on. She's a pediatric nurse and the first thing she says is, it sounds like a bowel obstruction. Call the doctor. After I get off the phone with her, he finally stands up and says mom I need medicine. He HATES glycerin suppositories, so that tells you where he was at. I give him one and 5 minutes later he's done. I'm a lil concerned but I'm thinking back trying to remember just how much cheese he had in the past week. My son is a cheese hound and has been known to get into the cheese and eat a whole package. I figure I will wait to call the doctor and just keep an eye on his cheese intake. The proceeds on just fine until close to evening. Around 5:30 christian takes a turn again. This time he lays on the floor moaning that his tummy hurts and that he has to throw up. We grab the bucket and as I'm picking him up, I notice he has a grey tinge to him. I'm thinking, well that can't be good. So I immediately call the doctor. I'm thinking ok, now I'm convinced he has a bowel obstruction. So I call the on call doctor, again its not his regular pediatrician, and she assures me it can't possibly be a bowel obstruction, he probably has a virus and but to keep an eye on it. I'm not so convince. I'm thinking he should be at the ER like now. After I get off the phone he starts throwing up again and again and again. He sits on my lap for 5 minutes. Jumps up and runs off saying, "I'm good now, I'm hungry can I have something to eat??" I'm livid now. I KNOW that he doesn't have a virus. That was just the weirdest two hours of my day. So I get on the phone and call our medical insurances nurse line. They were of no help to me at all. They use a computer database of medical book illnesses and his didn't fall under anything. I'm still mad. So I convince myself to just keep an eye on him. Saturday goes off with no puking surprises and we pretty much forget about Friday and the Monday before. Sunday comes around and we decide to go out to lunch with our friends The Reid's (they are pretty amazing people). We arrive at Sweet Tomatoes and we go through the line, get our food and sit down to what we hope to be a nice dinner when Christian suddenly lays his head on the table and says his tummy hurts. I just look at Tom and think Oh crap. So we wolf down our meal and head out to take Goo home. This time he is screaming his stomach hurts and so we lay him down with Tom for a nap. He is totally restless and can't even sit still. He finally gets out of bed walks down the hall around the corner looks up at me and proceeds to projectile vomit all over the house. I'm yelling for tom TRYING to catch it. I get it cleaned up, call the doctor back again. Same one as Friday night. She is still insisting its a virus. This goes on for three solid months. No one is figuring it out until I insist on seeing our own doctor, get an appointment with her and I write out a 2 page log of all the episodes since January. (btw did I mention this is March???) She asks us to make a few changes, we call her back and tell her its not working, she suggests we cut out milk which we inform her we did two weeks ago. She finally suggests he go through an Upper Gi. To make this long story short, we go in for the GI and find that he had a diaphragmatic Hernia, which he had since birth and his stomach was nestled between his lungs upside down and backwards. Yeah I know...... We actually did a TV show for the Discover Health Channel about it: Mystery Diagnosis. You can see the episode on Discovery Health under the title: The woman who craved Pickles. There are two segments per episode, ours is the first one. I'm surprised they didn't call it Vomit boy LOL :D
Stay tuned more to come
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