So life seems so chaotic. Theres a ton going on all around me and it seems so overwhelming. But I keep going and trudge through it all. I've finally become "ok" with not having a perfectly clean house, I know stuff is going to be laying around. Or I can pick up the same toy a 1K times or just wait till the end of the day and make the kids do it ;) But I'm realizing that I need to spend more time outside enjoying a nice bike ride with my kids and less time worrying that there is egg on the counter. Its much less stress believe you and me. I've stopped worrying what someone will think if they come over and there are dishes in the sink. I've thrown out the martha stewart attitude. Sorry lady but your fake and VERY unrealistic! You are the cause of depression. Woman can live up to the Marth Stewart expectation. You my dear, have employees, we however do not! :)
But besides just the typical house stuff. We have church stuff.
Yesterday our pastor announced he will be stepping down to persue God's calling. Ministering to other Pastors and their wives. I've always wondered who pastored the pastors. :) Seriously tho, its gotta be tough. Your constantly Pastoring to the congregation and praying for others. I truely believe we need to put more emphasis on praying for our Pastors and realizing they are only human themselves. Its definitely a job that you can only do equipped by God. Anyway, so he will be off with his wife to pursue this calling. In the mean time theres this uncertaintity of what will happen with our church. Will it close, will it stay open, will we hire a new pastor. And of course when you have a large number of individuals in a church, you have a large number of opinions and ideas of what should happen. This can either be a time of great confusion and fierce squabbles or a time of allowing God to work on HIS design. Yesterday after church, about 18 of us went to lunch. It was interesting to hear everyone's opinions on how this whole thing will transpire. The people whom I expected to have an opinion did of course. And while I was sitting there, I was thinking. Honestly people!! Are you crazy!?!?! These ideas are so far fetched. But the more I got to thinking about it the more I could see "some" of what was being said. Of course, my hot button through lunch was "church" for the kids. Its been my "hot" button for a long time. But, I think I'm realizing more that times have changed and my children may never have, what I had as a kid. People's priorities are different. Its up to me to give my children a church environment here at home, a love for God, for his people, for service. I realized that yes my children are my responsibility, but to have that support of your church to help you in the process we miss out on. Its finally clear, my children are relying on me 100% to give them everything. I can expect that church(in the traditional sense) will be a small portion of my kids lives and the rest I invest into them alone with God. It takes a village, but the village is retreating. And Tom and I are left with us. God being are #1 support. And without that network of people to rally around you, it makes for tough parenting.
I was talking to a lady the other day, at the First Baptist Church in Morgain Hill. I called to get Caitlin signed up for VBS. I wanted to get her involved in some things this summer, give us both some space from each other. Anyway her and I got into a discussion on what its like to be a church in the midwest/south as opposed to here. There church just went through the process of finding a new pastor. (they did it and survived why can't we??) There are so many differences, far to many to count. Church there, It works. People aren't chaotic and stretched for time like they are here. Its sad to think that God is scheduled in. But then again I see so many things about the Bay Area that I loathe. LIke the business, the attitudes, beliefs (teaching my kids about being gay/lesbian in kindgergarten, thanks but no thanks, why I homeschool, for those of you that are jumping on the bandwagon right this second, I didn't say anything about it being bad, I disagree about it being taught in schools. In kindergarten, thats my job along with the sex talk thank you very much. I have an aunt whom I love very much who is gay and I support her 100% "end soapbox" ) I pray everyday that God will get me out of this "place". But I realize this has been my home for 10 years. I would miss it because its all I've known and its what I"m use to. And of course the few REAL and very close friends that I have I will miss. But God has us here for a reason, and I have to be happy with it. If you would have asked me 10 years ago how long I would be here in california, I would NEVER had guessed or thought 10 years.
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How do I want to be remembered as a Mom by my children.
10 comments:
In my vision of a new kind of faith community, what happens is determined in part by who participates. Have small children? Then they are part of the community and the community as a whole must learn how to include them in the journey of faith and action.
But that's high-falutin' talk. I need help with specifics, and hope to learn from where others faith communities have gone with this.
Thats a nice vision, but lets be realistic here. And besides that what about nurturing what we've all put a lot of work into for the past three years. It has to account for something. If we all just walk away, does that mean it never really meant anything to anyone in the first place? I have many ideas of what "church" would be ideally, but then theres the reality. I'm sure you could pull it off say if you have enough dedicated and willing people to actually put forth the effort. But I hardly see where there will be enough people to put forth an effort to make changes for kids without it affecting the parents so much that they are much better at home. Or anyone for that matter that would like to do something more than sit and listen to someone else speak, or someone else, that all they want to do is talk and you can't get them away from the pulpit. *shrug* I think everyone has this ultimate VISION that supposedly GOD gives them, but is it really a vision or a figment of their creative mind? Because to be quite honest I think God is looking down upon us right this second shaking his head thinking of the monsters he's created. Relax....worship.....relationship.....growth....freedom
Its all lost in the chaos thats called this "place"
You have not seen many new ideas in our existing model because so much in the existing model is incompatible with the new ideas.
Like I said, I need help with specifics to make anything real. If indeed a new faith community emerges, I take comfort in knowing it will not be the first of the new breed to deal with these issues. There are others out there in a variety of models who have a few years experience.
Our creativity is God-given and a reflection of the dreams of God. I am excited and optimistic about what is to come.
I think that it is possible to incorporate children into the main body of Christ. I've done some experimenting with this with your own daughter. I've had her in service with me where you were not having to sacrafice and both Caitlin and I were learning and participating. I think she was learning and producing. And she was able to teach in her capacity. She did that painting of Jesus' death and how the blood flows up to the sky. It was more impactful than she maybe knew. But we had prayed that God use His spirit to guide our worship time before we started and I think he was using her. And that is no figment of the imagination. Of course, it will need tweeking and will take some experimenting to get a good fit. But these children are in this community and I think this community is completely willing to participate in their spiritual learning. Caitlin and Christian have their own network of friends outside of their parents who they interact with. They all care about them and contribute to their growth within the spiritual community. There's a huge difference between asking someone to sacrafice their time with the community to isolate to elsewhere to teach a children versus asking someone to be a guide for a lil one in our larger community. I hope you'll stay open to talks and visions. I think it's important to shed off what you already know, and start with a blank slate to best view what is actually possible. I realize the natural reaction is to fix the current problem you are working on, but the solution may be something you would not have thought of. I don't know. Don't take any of this wrong. I love your family. I'm sorry you've missed out on so many background conversations that preluded this all.
Well I see a lot of problems with the "vision" as far as kids go. I see the individuals that are talking about the vision and not one of them has children under the age of 8 or no children at all. Honestly, you were one to one with Caitlin, you didn't have a group of children to contend with. There were no disruptions because it was one child. Not to down play the results. I was amazed at what she created. Now add three more 3-4 year olds fighting over which paint they want and a 2 year old who is deciding to paint himself. And a 3 year old having a bad day wanting his/her mommy and not wanting to participate. It falls back on who? The congregation, no the parent, the parent who is tending to a child not being able to participate themselves. I in all my creative capacity dont see you incorporating a 2 year old into a service and helping him or her "Learn" apparently I'm old fashioned and nieve. But none of you have small ones so you can argue till the cows come home and I probably will stick to my old fashioned run of the mill send them into Sunday School. With the art centers and the montissori approach to learn with external mediums. Fine, but dont tell me you can do it in the community on a Sunday morning. Ok outside of church, I dont foresee someone picking up my child to take them on a "church" field trip or mission outreach. I've had visions of God's design for Children's Ministry. But without the resources it doesn't happen. God gave people free will and free will to say no thanks they are your kids. And one day people will regret that choice because our kids are the ones that will be leading the church 20 years down the line, and no one took the time and invested in them. Other than you and Aimee, I dont see one person in your group that would invest or even sacrifice an hour once a year to help the growth of one of the children that already exists in our church. Ya maybe the mold is flawed but its what we have and no one is willing to make the effort to at least try to fix it or maybe spruce it up a bit. Ideas are great, but without action its just an idea. Trust me. I know. I get calls every sunday I'm to tired, I'm sick, ooops no I'm not really sick I just dont want to come. Quite honestly I'm sick of church, the beaurocracy, the politics, the selfishness. I can see why not to many people want to come to church cause I dont want to myself. I do it because I have community there, and people that I love and want to see, thats about all. I can't remember the last time I took notes or really was involved in "church" sermon. I'm sure Dave had some amazing services. But my inspiration to even participate has been lost through all the nonesense of people acting like two year olds and not fulfilling on committments. This is the last 10 years of living in this valley and getting to know, what people are like here and it hasn't changed. People are selfish and reasonable egotistical. The reason I stay is Tom's job and because God says so. Doesn't mean I like or have to. And now I know better and can rely on the activities outside of the flawed mold to nurture my children by myself with my husband and God alone. My REAL church experience is at home with them reading a bible story or taking a life lesson out of an experience here. One major reason to homeschool.
Sorry if I'm not partial to the free-thinkers, but I tend to live more in reality of the situation and what people tend to offer kids......... and thats nothing.
I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry that is your experience. I pray that God uses this whole thing then to lead you to a better experience for you and your family.
Why can't people just be tired? Why does church always have to be about what you can do for it? Where can you serve? what can you do? What is all this crap about visions and stuff? Did God give the disciples "visions" of what church was supposed to look like? The only actual one I recall reading about is when Peter had the vision of eating "dirty" food? Where was all this other stuff? And where did it ever say that there had to be Sunday School? Whose to say one way won't work when it hasn't even been tried? How do you know that the community won't congregate to take care of the children if it has never been tried? ARe we all so afraid of change that any form of something non-traditional has to be blasted? And whats wrong with tradition anyway? Whats wrong with having a place for kids to be the kids they are and make a mess? Does it work? When the people do it, mostly it does. Does it help to blast the people you want to serve and do the ministry? Probably not. Have you ever wondered why people would rather lie about being sick than show up and teach sunday school? Is it really because people are selfish? Do you really think the fault lies with all church members and that people are selfish? Where does that come from? What if it was the leadership for not leading and not ministering to their flock. When was the last time your leader called you during the week to see how your day went. If you work for a boss and your boss never touches bases with you, do you think you might grow discontented in your job? If your boss never connected with you, if your leader never talked with you, where would that leave you? Calling in sick.
People are not selfish. Just unmotivated and unleadered.
And this new faith community thing? Who knows. Who knows what would happen. Why not wait and see how it goes. Why not be open and see if it works.
That was Lani above by the way, I just figured out how to leave my name.
You obviously didn't read my blog or accuratley read it
it said:
" The people whom I expected to have an opinion did of course. And while I was sitting there, I was thinking. Honestly people!! Are you crazy!?!?! These ideas are so far fetched. But the more I got to thinking about it the more I could see "some" of what was being said. "
Genesis 33:5 (Whole Chapter)
He lifted his eyes and saw the women and the children, and said, "Who are these with you?" So he said, " [Gen 48:9; Ps 127:3; Is 8:18] The children whom God has graciously given your servant."
Mark 10:14 (Whole Chapter)
But when Jesus saw this, He was indignant and said to them, "Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; [Matt 5:3] for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.
It Sunday School isn't exactly mentioned in the bible but neither is the Rapture. Its a word we've given it. You honestly can't expect a 2-6 year old to keep up with adult information/conversation.
So we provide what is on their level.
God also calls us to serve with our whole hearts.
P.S. You've obviously never been asked after childrens workers dont show and your kids in service " hey is he gonna sleep or something he's awfully loud."
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